A stylist who notices why you keep reaching for the same jacket, and asks about the story behind it. Personal style advice becomes more interesting when it comes from someone whose eye you admire, over coffee, with your own clothes and the way you live as the starting point.
Perhaps you have a piece you enjoy looking at and rarely wear. Perhaps your working life has changed, or the outfits you save on your phone seem far removed from what you put on in the morning. These are specific, ordinary reasons to talk with someone who pays attention to clothes.
On SEYA, a Source is someone worth meeting for their perspective, knowledge, taste, craft, stories, experience, or personality. Style offers plenty to explore in a session, a bookable conversation. Use these ideas to choose a subject, then check the individual Source’s session for its focus and preparation.
Gab Saper is joining SEYA’s beta with subjects including personal styling, the stories behind your style, body image, interview coaching and job negotiation. The connection between clothes and working life gives you several possible places to begin.
These subjects come from people joining SEYA’s beta. They describe possible conversations; individual session details and availability will be confirmed during the beta.
Finding the thread in what you already wear
Your most-worn clothes give a style conversation somewhere to begin. Think about the jacket you put on for a long day, the shoes you reach for when you want to feel dressed, or the shirt you have kept through several changes of job.
A stylist could help you look at those choices more closely. Are you drawn to a particular shape? Do you like clothes that feel structured, loose, spare, or full of detail? How much of what you wear is about the fabric against your skin or the way you move through your day?
Bring photos of a few outfits you actually wear. Add an image of something you would like to try. The distance between those pictures is a useful subject in itself.
A question to bring
“I feel most like myself in these clothes. What do you notice they have in common, and how could I explore that further?”
The person’s taste matters here. Read how they talk about style and look for an approach that makes you curious. You are inviting their way of seeing into the conversation while keeping your own preferences in it.
The piece you keep meaning to wear
Some clothes wait in the wardrobe because the rest of the outfit has never quite come together. A bright coat, a patterned skirt, or a pair of trousers with an unfamiliar shape can give a whole conversation its focus.
Bring a photo of that piece and the clothes you have tried with it. Tell the Source what felt awkward. Perhaps the outfit seemed too formal for your day, the shoes changed its proportions, or you liked the idea but felt uncomfortable wearing it outside.
Ask how they would approach the same piece. They might talk about balance, texture, repetition of color, or the effect of changing one layer. What makes the exchange useful is hearing the reasoning behind a suggestion, then deciding what you want to try.
A question to bring
“I keep this because I like it, but I rarely wear it. How would you think about building an everyday outfit around it?”
Clothes for a change in your working life
A new role, an interview, or a return to the office can change what you need from your clothes. A Source with experience in personal styling or workplace dress could help you think about what suits both the setting and your daily life.
Describe the whole day. Include the commute, the amount of walking, the room you will be in, and what you expect to do. Bring your preferences about comfort, coverage, fit and budget into the conversation early.
For an interview, you might compare outfits you already own and discuss what each communicates. For a new job, you could talk about a small set of combinations that work across different kinds of days.
A question to bring
“I am moving into a more formal workplace, and these are the clothes I feel comfortable in. What would you keep, adapt, or look for next?”
If the wider change is on your mind too, our article on career conversations over coffee explores the people you might meet to talk about pivots, interviews and advancement.
The stories behind your personal style
Some clothes stay with you because of what they mean. A jacket can belong to a particular chapter of your life. A color may remind you of someone. A piece you once felt comfortable in may now seem connected to an older version of yourself.
Gab’s interest in the stories behind style makes that a subject worth bringing. You could talk about which pieces still feel like yours, what you want to keep from an earlier period, or how you would like to express a change you are making now.
There is room for curiosity as well as practical decisions. You might ask how someone’s taste developed or which clothes they have changed their mind about. You can also share your own preferences about comfort and how you want to feel in what you wear.
A question to bring
“These clothes belong to different parts of my life. How could I think about what I want to carry into the way I dress now?”
What fits a personal style conversation at a café
Photos, outfit ideas and a question fit comfortably into a conversation over coffee. A wardrobe edit can begin with images of what you own. Discussion of color can explore combinations you enjoy and ways you might wear them.
Agree in advance if you hope to bring a garment. Photos usually make a lighter starting point, and give you room to compare several ideas. Keep the table comfortable for a conversation and for the café around you.
Bring enough to make it personal
Choose a few images, one situation you are dressing for, and one question you would enjoy exploring. Say what you would like to keep, whether that is a familiar silhouette, a preference for secondhand clothes, or the ease of getting dressed quickly.
Ask the Source what preparation fits their session. If you want to discuss purchases, share a budget you are comfortable with. The conversation could just as usefully stay with new combinations of things you already own.
Afterwards, try one of the ideas in your actual day. Notice how it feels to walk, sit and move in the outfit. Your experience of wearing it gives you something specific to return to.
Questions people ask
What can I ask a stylist over coffee?
You could explore outfits you already wear, a piece you find difficult to style, clothes for a change at work, or how to express a particular taste. Choose a question that fits the Source’s stated session and bring a few relevant photos.
Can I talk about personal style on a small budget?
Yes. A conversation can focus on the clothes you own, combinations you want to try, and what you would look for secondhand. Share your spending limit if you want to discuss possible purchases, and check the session price separately.
How can I discuss my wardrobe without bringing all my clothes?
Bring photos of a few outfits or pieces you want to discuss. Include the clothes you wear often and one you find difficult to use. Agree the focus with the Source so your examples suit the conversation.
Do I need to know my personal style before meeting someone?
Start with a few things you enjoy wearing and something you are curious about. That gives the Source material to discuss. Finding words for what appeals to you can be part of the conversation.
Meet someone whose eye interests you
A useful place to start is a piece of clothing you already have and a person who might see something in it that you have missed.
SEYA curates purposeful face-to-face conversations with remarkable people in the city’s most vibrant coffee shops. Discover someone remarkable, see the subjects you could explore together, and meet over coffee in a trusted local place.
Explore SEYA with a style question you would like to bring to the table.